Alexandra Lalieu
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Alexandra Lalieu

Dec. 16, 2006 ACIM Gather

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Alexandra Lalieu

"Love is Communication" - Part 3 - ACIM Gather: Saturday, Dec. 16,
2006 : 10:10 pm- 11:10 pm

Welcome, every one, to "Love is Communication", a program
where we communicate from the heart and receive help from the Holy
Spirit and from our listeners.. and continue, relentlessly, to bring
more of the ego's illusions to the Truth.

This afternoon, on my way to the grocery store with Mom,
about an hour's drive, I learned something very useful. We were
discussing forgiveness of everything that came up in front of us. I
was saying how every upset, no matter how small, was an opportunity
to affirm our innocence and thus release unconscious guilt to the
Holy Spirit:
Mom said -"I'm just realizing that sometimes I'm not even aware that
I am upset!"
I replied " Wow! That happens to me, too!"

I am looking back on this now, and giving this concept more attention
for my learning.  In this moment, I'm figuring out that it's almost
as if, as the ego starts to worry about its very existence, it gets
sneakier and more subtle in its ways!

Jesus teaches us in the Workbook Lesson #5 that "There are no small
upsets. They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind."

And then later in Lesson #16: "There is such a temptation to dismiss
fear thoughts as unimportant, trivial, and not worth bothering about
that it is essential  you recognize them as equally destructive, but
equally unreal."

It almost seems as if those `small'  thoughts of upset, discomfort,
or uneasiness go `under the radar' and escape detection. The ego
isn't stupid, I guess. It knows that an all-out attack wouldn't fool
me or go unnoticed - so it goes into `stealth' mode.
What does this mean to me right now? Well, that my ego is afraid.
Very afraid. It knows I have already experienced moments wherein I
was aware of the Peace of God, and that I now know what it's up to.

For the ego to have to resort to undercover operations and these
kinds of clandestine tactics, I am certain that it is now MUCH weaker
than it was a couple of months ago, before I learned from The
Disappearance of the Universe and Your Immortal Reality, books by
Gary Renard, how to practice Quantum Forgiveness!

So, even if it sneaks in, and gets around my defenses, the Holy
Spirit has a built-in plan that takes care of it. In my opinion, I
feel comforted that, if I miss some of those subtle attacks, I know
they are symbols of unconscious guilt and fear - so I am bound to
project them in my dream in some other ways.

Or, I can search my mind for them later.
Send out a Divine Search Party, if you will. Ha ha! I love games of

Oops, as I speak, my Loving Mind is reminding me: "You need do
nothing. Just look. And wait. And judge not. It is the ego that
pursues, sweetheart. Pursuit makes illusions real. Your fear thoughts
are illusions, too. They are a type of judgment that you don't really
want to participate in."

I love that loving part of my mind! I am now just realizing "Yay! I
don't have to work hard at all to uncover ego thoughts! I know they
will come up in the form of an annoying person, animal, or situation
in my life, and I'll be able to deal with it at that time. Or not, if
I choose to hold onto grievances or judgments.

Example: dogs behaving badly
Projecting my unconscious ego-nature onto something outside of
myself - another opportunity for forgiveness!

Ok, so now I am taking responsibility for my upsets, no matter how
small and seemingly insignificant. According to Gary Renard, I dreamt
those situations up so that I could escape my guilt by holding
someone or something `out there' responsible for making me upset.
Classic case of projection. BUT Do I want to admit that? No WAY! But
what's the price of this form of my denial? According to A Course in
Miracles, it will cost me the loss of my memory of my Inheritance,
the whole Kingdom of God! Yikes!

Choose once again.

Option #1: Judge others. Project guilt outside of myself. Stay in
hell. Suffer for endless lifetimes until I make the choice to forgive.

Option #2: Judge others. Look at it with the Holy Spirit. Agree that
both I and the other person are both innocent because I've really
done nothing in my little dream of separation. Remember that the
Peace of God is attainable in a fewer number of lifetimes if I do my
forgiveness homework.
All right, so I am choosing to take responsibility for what seems to
happen in my dream. And give myself, and the other person, the
greatest gift of all: the gift that releases both of us from blame,
guilt, and hell.

A couple of weeks ago, on December 5th, I felt what it was like to be
released from guilt with forgiveness. Because Love is Communication,
I will share what happened, even though it can be
considered `personal`:
I live together with my Mom in her house. Between running both my
karate school and my dog training business, I have a very hectic work
schedule. Many times I would find that Mom had already done the
laundry I had intended to do upon my return home. Every time she did
the laundry while I was at work, I would feel deeply appreciative and
grateful. That day, Mom must have felt sad because she said that she
wished I wouldn't leave the laundry for her to do, since she was
getting on in age and it was no longer easy for her to lift heavy
things out of the washing machine. Upon hearing that, I of course
felt guilty beyond measure, as I then put myself in her shoes. I
imagined that, yes, my thick cotton karate uniforms are quite heavy
when wet, and difficult to take out of the machine and put into the

I said to her in a desperate plea for forgiveness: "Mom, I`m so
sorry. I hate myself for being so inconsiderate and cruel to you. But
my mind is part of God's. I am very holy," remembering that day's
Workbook lesson #35 out loud.

Surprisingly and miraculously, she replied to me in the next
moment: "I felt just as overwhelmed when you were in High School and
I had to hang all those heavy cotton designer jeans on the
clothesline in the cold weather before we had a dryer. And when I was
younger and stronger, it was a lot easier for me. .But I am
realizing, now, that I am making a choice to feel imposed upon, and
it really has nothing to do with you, Alexandra."

Well, my jaw dropped. I thought: Oh my God! My Mom has just released
me from my guilt!

"Mom, thank you so much for seeing it this way! I'm guessing how much
you are needing more support."

She replied, "Definitely."

But our hearts and minds had already joined in a common
understanding, a deep communication, in that Holy Instant. We knew we
were not separate or alone. Simply by her taking responsibility for
how she felt in that situation at that very moment.  Simply by no
longer blaming me for how she felt, she set us BOTH free!

As I contemplated what had transpired that day, I asked the Holy
What was that that happened? It felt sooo good. I actually felt a
physical release! The deep joy and gratitude and love I felt for my
Mom actually expanded my mind!

With full respect, I continued to query: If there is really no
one `out there', and I am dreaming this world of separate bodies,
including my own and my Mom's physical appearances, wouldn't it
actually be ME forgiving myself ? What shifted in my mind, that would
finally allow it to receive God's Love in the form of blamelessness
and forgiveness? Beyond the fact that I remembered my Workbook lesson
in that moment of psychological agony, right when I needed it most.
was the memory of my previous night's experience with the Voice of
the Holy Spirit. It was an experience I would never forget.

Around 2 am the night before, December 4th, I came home late again.
Mom had gone to sleep long before then, and I just wanted to do my
Workbook lesson and get to bed as soon as possible. I was sleepy and
was debating whether or not to take the time to floss before brushing
my teeth. My teeth were always sensitive during the flossing process
because I hadn't really taken as good care of them as I should have
when I was younger.

My fear of dentists drilling and root canals hadn't helped the care
process either. Then, this clear, gentle, loving Thought came into my

"Suffer no more. And take your place among the Teachers."
It was the Holy Spirit of God speaking to me! I immediately went down
on my knees right where I was, in front of the bathroom sink, and
tears came to my eyes, tears of gratitude, and I thanked God with my
whole being. After a couple of minutes of gratitude, I chose to pick
up the dental floss and do a really thorough job before I brushed.

It hurt a bit, but it no longer disturbed my inner peace. I was able
to see the bigger picture. "Suffer no more." I realized that whenever
I chose to neglect my body's care, it was the ego's wish, and that it
was inevitable that it would suffer as a result of the neglect. In
this way, it would cause pain and that was the ego's plan to keep me
distracted from my true reality as Spirit. What a terrible plan! And
my guilt and fear caused me not to look at that fact in my
"Suffer no more." What a powerful statement. I had never experienced
such an Order before. And It was an Order. It was an Order from God
for me and my brothers and sisters to be released from all pain and
suffering through the release of all guilt from the mind of His Holy
Son. This statement was a benediction.

"And take your place among the Teachers." I didn't know how to
express the fullness of my gratitude to God. I went to bed, did my
evening Workbook lesson, and had this deep, peaceful, powerfully-
comforting feeling that felt like a warm wave of delightful care.
This was so precious to me - I felt like I just got a promotion from
the only Boss Who mattered - God Himself! I felt a fulfillment like
no other, because it was the realization that all came from within
A restful, comforting Peace enveloped me, and the staggering
realization that I never again needed to search outside of myself for
a Teacher,  the Teacher I was seeking was within me as me (Christ
There was deep gratitude, humility, and the knowledge that my
progress was on behalf of all of my brothers and sisters, dedicated
to the Truth and to Love and to the whole Sonship.

Love, Alexandra Lalieu


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