Suzanne Deakins
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Being Intimate with God

Suzanne Deakins

Listen to Suzanne's teaching from ACIM Gather on PalTalk, July 29, 2007


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Suzanne Deakins
Teacher, Author, Counselor, Inspiration
Like most people I am not very good at writing about myself. I don't think telling you about my accomplishments gives you a very good idea of who I am and what I really bring to my teaching and writing.

About 35 years ago I found I was living behind a glass wall. I could see life, hear life, but not participate. No one was hearing me.  From this I have learned my mission. This is that words are the breath of life.  This small insight changed my entire life.  It set me on the path I now find myself. Over the last few years I have had quite a few epiphanies and revelations. What I have learned from these experiences I try to bring to my classes and my writing.

Each day I look at the world fresh. I try to see with new eyes what others around me may be seeing.  And I apply the idea that there is only TRUTH, GOD, Creator, and Deity. When I apply this I come up with some shocking ideas about life. One of those ideas is that as individuals we search for GOD or Deity in everything we do. 

No matter which words I use it all goes back to the fundamental search for that which is greater than our self.  We search, look and hope to find Truth and God in our life.

I have written many books on management, managers, grief, and language. I have written many books for large corporations.  BUT the only books that really matter are the books I now write. The only classes that matter are the classes that you attend with me. I believe in each class in each book is a gathering of spirit. Perhaps even a karmic gathering where we all learn together and form what I feel is one of the most important aspects of life... a relationship centered on spirit.

~Suzanne Deakins /

Suzanne Deakins has been writing and teaching since 1976. She brings to her writing and teaching insightfulness that is practical, useful and full of spirit.  She uses an ontological approach that allows the reader and seeker to apply spiritual principals to their daily life. Her work has spanned from Fortune 500 clients to individuals. 

About "Being Intimate With God"

To know God, deity, spirit and truth, we must be known. An experience of higher source is not a casual prayer or meditation. It is an exhilarating experience that causes us to experience our immortality, life and love in ways we did not know existed.

An experience of God or higher source is an intimate encounter that takes you beyond the limits of your man-state consciousness. This session will help you find your way back to the Garden of Eden and a more profound relationship with your higher selfWe will discuss how and why we hide from our higher self, God, Deity and Truth

We talk about such topics as surrender, love and intimacy.



Selections from



Suzanne Deakins


 Being Intimate with God


Most of us in the Western world seek a relationship with what we call deity. In the West we have built many churches and formed many communities based on the idea of knowing or being spiritual in nature.


It appears that most relationship-seeking behavior is the search for the spiritual, the reality of life as we see it in another. We never see our own face, we see reflections or what we assume is a reflection in a mirror. We must from our teens decide that we exist. The abstract idea of existence comes with both a freedom and a shackle. In establishing our existence, we state that we are by simply saying, "I am." This can be in conjunction with our gender, our roles, and profession. Our use of language reinforces our existence. When we use the form of the word "to be," we are making statements of our existence. Even to say I don't exist is to say you exist. Before you can't exist, you must exist.


We are taught from birth to believe what we see. The old saying "seeing is believing" is a good example of how we are taught that our senses report what is really there. Our existence is always questionable. The exceptions to this adage is the mirage on the desert caused by a heat inversion. Even small babies will laugh at perspective that is turned around from what we are used to seeing. Look at MC Escher's work this will give you insight to how automatic our senses are. Feel with your mind. See differently.


In our teen years we believe that we are separate from our parents and the world. We face the abstract concept of isolation and mortality. In our thinking we feel the urge to see ourselves. The best way seems to be in our reflection of another. In them we see our self, spirit, and Creator. The realization for that moment that we do exist and are not isolated in some hell away from all life comes into our consciousness. We have in that moment realized our God self as we realize and acknowledge the God self of the other.


Because we have been taught to believe our senses we also know that many times they can't be trusted. Thus we seek to know truth and understand what is true in our lives. We seek relationships at an unconscious level so that we may see reflections of our self. We pursue the other so we may find reflections that teach us and give us insight and understanding into what and who we are. We seek lovers and companions that lead us to an intimacy with God. At our very first orgasm with another we realize we are whole and perfect and connected to life. The thrill is not just in our senses and body, but in our consciousness we feel our first intimacy with deity.


In Christian philosophy and religion we are taught we are made in the image of God. We see pictures of Jesus and find that he looks human (albeit more English than Middle Eastern). He is the Son of God according to the scriptures in the Bible. He reminds us of our nature. We see God in the other but not in ourselves. We are a species in search of our Creator. We search for a part of our selves we cannot see and fathom from our experience. We seek the life force that gives us life beyond the body. We have been taught to believe what we see and yet we know that life force is not restricted to objects but animates from another place. We seek to be whole in our understanding and knowing of our being. And in this search we reach out to our fellow beings in search of penetrating and being penetrated so that we may both be understood and know at the same time. At this moment we want to be whole. For without this moment of revelation we feel incomplete, limited, with a beginning and end. We are searching for the infinite and the finite to be resolved as one. We seek to resolve the paradox of life and our being.


This search to know and be known is the search for our Creator, our purpose and mostly for our God. We are looking for our soul mate. We become confused and think that our soul mate resides in another. We think it is human in form and become embattled and bitter when this appears to be wrong. Moving from one relationship to another we "sin" in our search.


To be whole we must have a relationship with our God, Deity, Higher Mind, our very nature of existence in the image of God. Because we have been taught we are not good and therefore not God, we cannot accept that we are the Creator of our world that to be intimate with God is to be intimate with our self. To know our self as whole, as the completion without ending of life cannot happen with another until you have had an epiphany of your intimacy with God.


Adam and Eve ran from God in the Garden of Eden. They hid their nakedness and were ashamed. They were ashamed because they became aware that they had disobeyed a law of spirituality:


To know is to know not. No matter what you see with your eyes, you are seeing illusion. The knowing of self is the knowing of God.


Forever we have been searching for God, Deity, and our spiritual connection, feeling we have been put out of the Garden of Eden. We search because we think God is hiding. God, your spiritual nature, is not hiding. The very life force you see in others is what you seek in yourself. Like Adam and Eve we hide from our spiritual force, Deity and our God self. We cover ourselves in the roles of the ego, in our inhibitions, fears, and guilt. You must uncover yourself and stand naked before the God Creator. Only in this manner can you experience the intimacy with the God self.


Your God self sees beyond all illusion, it sees beyond the lies, the self-deception and seeks that in you which has always been whole, without sin, that which is truth, that which is true about you. You are a loving being full of insight and understanding. You cannot hide behind clothes, the acting roles you have taken on, the excuses, the victim you often become. You cannot hide because you think you are missing a part of your soul. That which is so – Truth, God –has always been present. This is the secret of intimacy with God, that which is God, Truth, Higher Mind, Supra Consciousness is always there waiting with open arms for you to embrace the beloved life force. Your true beloved is not another person, but the spiritual being of self. Only in the moment of revelation that you are intimate with your sense of deity at all times will the hunger that haunts your being be fulfilled. Once you know you can't unknow…you can't forget. You can only accept that life force, God has always been in you and always will be.


Like a small child you have turned your face from the Creator self trying to hide. BUT your Creator knows where you are, who you are, and all there is to know. You have only to let down the veils of secrecy, pain, self-torture, and separateness to step from the finite limited life to a limitless life of the joy of intimacy with the deity you seek.


The God center of life waits patiently, for time and space do not exist in the nature of reality.


Soul Mates: Spiritual or immortal essence of a relationship. People ideally suited for one another in a variety of relationships. When two people meet and feel as if they have found a "missing piece" of themselves, this is called soul mates. Some metaphysical practioners believe our soul splits into seven parts at the time of reincarnation. A soul mate may be a lover, mate, or friend.


The only true soul mate is the one you have with yourself and your deity. You have always been in the Garden… Awake! See! Surrender to the loving life available to you.


Your soul mate is your concept of deity.





We live in a world hungry for power and control. Power and control issues are more than issues of any government. They are struggles of individuals in our world. The need for power and control come from fear. This is fear of non-survival, fear of loosing some vital part or idea of our self. One time a student came to me after a lesson and said, " I would jump off the balcony if you asked." This totally unnerved me and caused me many long hours of thought. I had assumed (apparently wrongly) that the students were thinking through the material I presented and drawing their own conclusions. It never occurred to me that an individual would see me as some kind of leader/deity that was capable of making decisions over another's life. Soon after, I moved to New York City. In New York I found the seat of much power in government and the world economy. I made it my goal to understand power and leadership. I was introduced to Presidents of our country as well as Presidents of Fortune 500 companies. Soon I found the secret to power is that there is no power.

In the bookshelves of every leader's office I found titles that indicated that they sought a secret, and that secret was surrender to something more than their physical human experience. When I spoke to them, I found them filled with immense hope for the future. I found them reverent to the human condition. Their leadership and power were solidly established in their consciousness as spiritual essence. No matter what later occurrences happened in their roles as leaders and power brokers, at the moment of our conversations I found them in a state of surrender to Deity.

 I suppose there are iron-fisted leaders such as our current government who try to control and lead with will. BUT true leadership and power are based in an act of surrendering to higher source and direction.


 Surrender is to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand; to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence); to give oneself up into the power of another. Surrender is a verb, a movement. It is not static.


Surrender is an important part of understanding intimacy and love. For there to be an experience of purpose and meaning we must surrender (in this case give up) our beliefs about our being. How can we be intimate with another if we think it is all set in the physical state? Intimacy, knowing and being known, happens in the mind, higher mind. You can't hold out against love but must surrender to it, and in the surrendering you find intimacy and sacredness at levels never experienced before.


Spiritual surrender is about learning to let go and accepting life for what it is, not what we wish it could be. We each carry romantic ideas about our deity, lovers, and life. We carry a concept that spiritual reality is perfection. I have learned that the world of perfection is a lie. All life is from the Creator, and this life contains the rose as well as the thorn that pricks. If the Creator creates life, then all life is from the Creator. We can't have life and non-life in the same moment. All life is creation. Just as our consciousness has created the life we live in so can it create a new life.


When you surrender to the creation of love and intimacy you begin by learning to let go of old beliefs, old pains, old failures for the now existence you are creating. By learning to let go, you aren't quitting or settling for less out of life. Surrendering does not mean that you quit striving and living life. It does mean that you look toward life differently. This type of recognition is a realization, a recognition of where you are in your life. You begin to understand that you are more than the old beliefs. When you resist letting go of painful situations, anger, and guilt, you hamper yourself from moving forward into relationships that carry new meaning and purpose in your life.


Pain is often, if not always, caused by a resistance to the body, emotions, and spiritual movement of life. To the Buddhists pain is about desiring and not having the desire fulfilled. When we wish and desire that which is an illusion, we cannot be fulfilled. We are that moment resisting the higher self for the ego. To desire illusion can be likened to desiring a character in a cartoon to become animated with life entering into your world as a real person. When we resist our spirit (by desiring illusion) or try to separate our self from the nature of reality –Truth, God, Creative Force, Higher Mind, and Deity – we will feel pain. Pain can be spiritual pain or emotional pain; both may result in physical pain.

A resistance to surrendering to a higher source makes the journey we take more difficult. Nothing keeps you from letting go other than your own attachment to your ego needs and fears. Ego fights a fierce battle inside of us. The battle within is the battle for the soul. Our soul is always there, whole and perfect. It is our mate, lover, and cosmic intent. For the splendor of our soul to shine forth, we must win the battle the ego wages. Our ego fears that in surrender, all that seems familiar will be lost. That which is illusion and shadow disappears when the light is turned on. Surrendering to knowing and being known by God is like turning on a million stars. A bright light is cast into the shadowy corners revealing all that has always been and always will be as love and acceptance of being. That which is truth, is true, is all that exist. For that which is NOT truth has no existence in reality. Everything outside of this must be an illusion, an aberration or a dream. For in life that which is so is all that exists. Ego is an illusion created out of fear and pain. In the nature of reality it is but an illusion with no existence other than what we allow it to have. When we surrender, misconception, ignorance, hate, anger, and fear are lost.

As long as we allow the ego to block our path to intimacy and love, to a connection to God, we continue to be a victim of our own pain-filled history and beliefs based on misconceptions and fear. We become victims of our unconscious destiny forged out of illusion.

As long as we remain a victim of our ego, we live a life devoid of choice. Most of what we think of as choice is our ego moving us along a path it feels is safe for maintaining the status quo. You can't be intimate or experience love in a sacred space if you allow the ego to make the choice. The only way around this predicament is to learn to surrender. In surrendering you have made the ultimate choice to disengage from battles that keep you busy and locked in fear. As the Creator of your world, surrender is always an option.

Surrender is sensual, highly erotic, meaning it stimulates the creative urges. Surrendering to intimacy, to God, to Deity is sensual. Your body softens and vulnerability becomes your strength. When you are vulnerable, you surrender to the spirit within the deity center of your being. You accept your soul. Instead of pulling back and retracting, you allow your mind and energy to flow out, at the same time accepting the energy that flows inward. This out-to-in flow is the secret of the sages, mystics, and priests/priestesses. Only in surrender can you experience true intimacy and love.

All of this requires feelings of safety as you create a sacred space for your intimacy. To be safe is to be free from risk or danger. Safety is a necessary feeling for the expansion of consciousness and the intimacy with God. 

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs places feelings of safety immediately after the need of food, water and shelter. Maslow's theory contended that as humans meet 'basic needs', they seek to satisfy successively 'higher needs' that occupy a set hierarchy. It is impossible to become vulnerable and open to another's love and intimacy if we do not feel safe. Safety in relationships deals with trust and feelings of being cared for in a state of unconditional love.


How can you allow another to explore your innermost being if you are afraid? How can you explore your Creator self if you are angry and stiff? To surrender you allow the energy and psychic field around you soften, become pliable. Your focus becomes soft.


On a personal level you can tell if someone is feeling safe and sensual around you. Their eyes dilate and their focus softens. Try surrendering in small steps. Surrender to a piece of music allowing it to penetrate your very being… hear with your skin, your mind not just your ears. Surrender to the smell of a rose, allowing it to fill your consciousness with the ardor of the flower.


In surrender you stay present. Time does not exist in past or the future.

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